Everyone have personality traits that sometimes clashes with someone else. When you meet someone both people are going to bring their different personality traits to the table. So when you date or be in a relationship with someone this is expected. You learn to deal with and ignore those issues most of the time. Now the problem comes into place when it’s more than just a few personality traits and the person entire personality does not match with yours. You then find yourself working hard to change the person completely to match who you are. First you can’t change a person, but most importantly you should not want to be with someone who you have to spend all your time turning them into the person you want.
Being with someone does not mean you have to become their parent where you are raising them to be the type of person you want them to be. You want to be with someone who is already together to be in a relationship or even date. If I have to show you and change everything about you, you obviously are not what I want. Every adult that partake in any type of relationship should be ready when you meet them to be in a relationship. Can we learn something from each other… absolutely, but we shouldn’t have to teach someone everything. If you have to guide them on how to be in a relationship, they are not ready to be in one and it’s not your responsibility to get them to the place of being in a relationship.
There might be little things that you might not like about the person and that’s understandable, because no one is perfect. The issue is when you have to spend all your time working on, guiding and showing someone how to be with you…it’s time to let it go. No one can makeover a person to where they have a whole new personality and if you try both parties are only going to become resentful toward each other. There are certain things that a parent should have taught their child to prepare them for adulthood and relationships. When you get with someone you are not to try to replace their parent by teaching them how to be with someone. You just want to be with the person and have a relationship with them.
I’ve heard of people saying I’ve put too much into the person to give up. What type of relationship do you have with someone if you’ve been spending most of your time in the relationship raising the person to be with you? You want to be with someone who is right and ready to be in a relationship. Relationships are hard enough without you trying to raise the person to be in the with relationship with you.
So…my question is if you have to raise a person to be with you, why would you want someone who is not already right for you?